Weekly Update 13: Ten Things That Sum Up My Week

Hereโ€™s this weekโ€™s installment in my Weekly Update series!

#1: This week’s posts

Two posts went out this week:

#2: Read-aloud

I recorded myself reading the post above (Shorts, My Old Nemesis…) out loud (!!!!!!!!). It’s at the end of that post.

I found it a lot of fun. I like finding new ways to challenge my social anxiety that don’t actually involve interacting directly with other humans…

#3: I have a stye

I don't know why, 
But I have a stye. 
I guess I'll cry. 

(It’s actually not bad. Just annoying. Jesse’s mama is a nurse and she said warm compresses and NO POPPING OR POKING OR GENERALLY PROVOKING IT.)

#4: Body image and social anxiety

I shared this image on Instagram and wanted to include it here, too.

It was surprising and helpful when I first learned that it is common for those who experience social anxiety to also struggle with body image dissatisfaction.

I can see why: social anxiety is a fear of judgment by others. It’s not a big leap to fearing the judgment of one’s body by others.

#5: Look, I can open a cupboard!

I shared this image in the same post as above, as a challenge to myself. I have a really hard time seeing myself from the side in photos. So I took a fairly “safe” side photo and posted it. Baby steps.

The more times I’ve seen it this week, the less weird I have looked to myself. (Does that sentence make sense?)

#6: The Tees Were Teasing Me

I could resist no longer. I have ordered two TeeTurtle shirts:

Love Yourself t-shirt TeeTurtle caribbean blue t-shirt featuring a fox hugging itself with hearts around him
Glitter is My Favorite Color T-Shirt TeeTurtle

I think I’m kind of obsessed with graphic tees.

I think I’ve always loved them, but I’ve been closet-obsessed. As in, in the closet about my obsession, not obsessed about the closet I will keep my glorious new tees in.

I’ve had weird hang-ups about wearing graphic tees. Broadcasting my tastes visually has made me feel exposed and vulnerable.

But no more!

I am going to unleash my long-dormant, simmering-beneath-the-surface graphic tee addiction.

(In a financially responsible way.) (Mostly.)

I will still feel vulnerable and exposed, but that will be social anxiety talking, and I will try hard to hear that voice but not obey it.

#7: The LEGO Movie 2

I can’t stop listening to the soundtrack for The LEGO Movie 2. It’s here on Spotify.

I don’t know if it will be at all interesting to listen to if you haven’t seen the movie and don’t know the characters, but my favourite song is Not Evil by Tiffany Hadish.

#8: Best line I’ve heard In a long time

By a self-accepting, introverted friend who is constantly showing me new ways to think about things related to introversion, shyness, people pleasing, and more (and who preferred to remain nameless but gave me permission to share):

There are some battles not worth fighting.

That’s why I stay quiet so much. I smile a lot and think to myself “I completely disagree with you, but you are passionate in your falsehood and I am not being paid to remedy that“. ๐Ÿ˜

#9: “How do you introduce yourself at parties?”

I heard this icebreaker question the other day (not at an actual party).

And I don’t generally like this kind of structured small talk, but I feel less awkward about it in writing, when I’ve had time to think.

I guess I would say, “I’m a mom of 2, and like to write about mental health when I’m not keeping the kids alive or freelancing.”

Maybe? I probably wouldn’t say that. Maybe something more like:

“Teehee! That’s SO KIND of you to ask! I freelance! I have kids! I get CHIPPER AS F*** when introduced to new people and put on the spot! WHAT ABOUT YOU?!?!?!”

#10: I finally did it

I finally wrote that post about how social anxiety disorder can impact a person’s sex life.

It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, because it’s a legitimate issue that I don’t see discussed in a candid and personal way.

The post is lighthearted and hopefully a little funny. Nothing too graphic. I’m just testing the waters to see what kind of response there is.

I’m prepared for very little response — it’s hard enough to talk about social anxiety openly, let alone social anxiety in the bedroom.

Anyway, the post is called “How To Have Socially Anxious Sex In 4 Easy Steps” and it goes out on Monday morning.

I’m considering doing a read-aloud for that one, too. Thoughts?

That’s been my week!

How was yours?

What did you get up to?

Come chat on Instagram!

View this post on Instagram

๐‘๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐š๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ "๐Ÿ๐ข๐ฑ๐ข๐ง๐ " ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ.โฃโ € โฃโ € This was one of the most heartwarming realizations I made during therapy. โฃโ € โฃโ € It's not about fixing ME. โฃโ € โฃโ € It's about ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ฑ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ me, ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ me, ๐˜จ๐˜ถ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ me, ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฒ๐˜ถ๐˜ช๐˜ฑ๐˜ฑ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ me.โฃโ € โฃโ € ๐˜Œ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ me.โฃโ € โฃโ € It's about showing me how to manage the symptoms of anxiety and depression that I experience. โฃโ € โฃโ € But it has ๐ง๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  to do with me being bad, weak, or broken. โฃโ € โฃโ € ๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐๐Ž๐“ ๐›๐š๐, ๐ฐ๐ž๐š๐ค, ๐จ๐ซ ๐›๐ซ๐จ๐ค๐ž๐ง. โฃโ € โฃโ € ๐˜—๐˜“๐˜Œ๐˜ˆ๐˜š๐˜Œ ๐˜ต๐˜ณ๐˜บ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ. โฃโ € โฃโ € ๐ฑ๐จ๐ฑ๐จโฃโ €

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18 thoughts on “Weekly Update 13: Ten Things That Sum Up My Week

    1. Exactly! Vague “sexiness” is showcased, at least visually. But actually talking about the reality and challenges of real people attempting real physical intimacy? That’s often shied away from except from a clinical angle.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I pick my battles too.

    I don’t know how to introduce myself to people, but I can’t cope with parties so I don’t go to them. This is probably not good (and I still have to introduce myself in other places)…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, looking at a photo of yourself to try to decrease weirdness/anxiety. That sounds super brave and provoking (in the way you’re not supposed to do with the stye). We are finding that type of exposure to be just too much provoking for us right now. In the past, we found exposure at the right level improved our symptoms (OCD), so we hope you find success.

    Your graphic tees look super! Do you know Eliza (Journey to Life blog)? We think she would adore the glitter shirt!!! She is super awesome, like you

    We reflected that we, too, do not wear themed clothing. 90% of the clothes we wear outside the house are monochromatic with no words or images. 8% have an animal or natural area represented (including a Banff shirt with a Canadian flag). 1% might be team/school themed. 1% might have a brand name (North Face sweatshirt from Spouse).

    #8: wethinks your friend is onto something big. We have read in Buddhist and meditation and Nonviolent Communication sources that the harder your cling to your beliefs, the more you suffer. This makes sense because challenges to your way of believing may be taken personally if you think you’re right. If we do not take all that we believe as sacrosanct, then we can be flexible enough to (1) learn, (2) grow, (3) converse civilly, (4) model for others how to communicate with flexibility, interest, and compassion. We made up that list; it’s not, like, a thing. Our dad sometimes knows everything, and he makes us suffer when his views are challenged. Sometimes, he doesn’t do that, and we are learning to not tell the story that he always does, because it is inaccurate.

    #9: we have introduced ourself to precious few people outside a hospital ward lol. Those introductions are somewhat easier because everyone knows that we all have mental health. Still, we approach those introductions with fear. We were scared of this young woman who was very, very angry her first few days on the ward. We arrived on the same day. We got paired up for an exercise in a psycho-ed class, and we became friends. Moral: introductions are brief glimpses, like a carefully curated movie preview. We would probably say that we like nature, especially birds. Then they would ask which is our favorite bird. We would say Crows.

    We look forward to reading your Monday post. We don’t usually do audio. Maybe we would listen. We like your voice


    Liked by 1 person

    1. I donโ€™t think I made the connection between seeing my photo repeatedly + finding myself less โ€œweirdโ€ and exposure practice. But thatโ€™s exactly what it was. I think I might be able to use this with more photos. Just look at myself and listen to what anxious and self-critical thoughts come up. Iโ€™m sorry to hear itโ€™s too provoking for you right now ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

      I donโ€™t know Eliza!!! But I just went and followed her blog. ๐Ÿ˜€ Thank you.

      Is it a conscious choice that you wear mostly non-themed/monochromatic clothing? Or just a natural preference?

      Iโ€™m sorry to hear that your dad makes you suffer in that way ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I see the wisdom in what you say about not taking oneโ€™s own beliefs as sacrosanct. I think Iโ€™m accepting of othersโ€™ beliefs, but thereโ€™s definitely something in me that feels anxious/threatened when confronted with vastly different beliefs or values. Some food for thought there.

      Crows. I feel like crows are symbolic for many things. I donโ€™t know what things. But I feel like crows are important birds.

      I agree with you about introductions โ€“ thereโ€™s not enough info there to generalize how a person might actually be as a whole.

      Thank you for saying you like my voice ๐Ÿ˜ŠIn the end, I didnโ€™t (or havenโ€™t yet) done a recording of that post. But weโ€™ll see. A friend said my post came across as superficial/playing it safe, so I am processing some feelings about that. It is a valid critique, but I played it safe intentionally to test the waters. Most of the reactions from readers here and on Instagram were very, very positive, though.

      Liked by 2 people

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