Here’s this week’s installment in my Weekly Update series!
#1: This week’s post
One post went out this week: I Took 4 Online Tests for Social Anxiety: Here Are My Results
#2: Jesse’s birthday
It was Jesse’s birthday yesterday (May 8)! We had a subdued celebration with chocolate cake, pizza, and The LEGO Movie 2.
When the world turns back on, we’ll go out and celebrate more excitingly.
#3: Cuticle Picking
I’ve fallen back to my old habit of tearing my cuticles apart. I’d been doing really well for months. My index finger is currently wearing a Frozen 2 bandaid.
That’s how I know I’m probably more stressed in my body than I realize in my mind. About…? Maybe it’s just week 8 of lockdown life.
#4: Hard week
Actually, it has been a very hard week emotionally.
In my daily mood tracker, I had to introduce a new colour/category for Thursday (May 7). Previously, my lowest mood was red and called “really struggling.”
On Thursday, I introduced black and called it “The Worst.”
This was the peak of the mess that was Thursday:
#5: Hubby pep talk
The way I act and talk with my kids when I’m anxious is just… so not at all how I see or saw myself as a mom, you know?
Jesse lifted my spirits later on Thursday night with one of his pep talks.
“You’re caring for tiny humans who adore and love you, but don’t have the ability to care or empathize for your needs yet. Anyone would get drained and struggle under those conditions.”The part of his pep talk that stuck with me most.
The next day was the best day mood-wise I’d had all week. Even the kids were better behaved (probably because I was calmer).
#6: Educational content
I’ve started sharing some educational/informative content on Instagram after reviewing my therapy notes on social anxiety.
I feel nervous about sharing educational content (e.g. Common physical symptoms of social anxiety), because I’m not a doctor, and I don’t want to… overstep?
But it should be fine to just share what I’ve learned, right? Even if I’m not an authority on the subject.
I want my blog and Instagram to be a mix of useful information and relatable experiences.
#7: Avoiding video therapy
My psychiatrist has called to check in every week since lockdown began, and to see if I’m interested in trying a virtual therapy session with her.
She makes it clear there’s no pressure.
She leaves a voicemail (I never answer the phone…), and I return her call most weeks (during hours I’m sure she won’t be in the office).
I’ve passed on the offer every week so far.
And the thing is, I should take her up on it. My social anxiety symptoms are becoming more intense as isolation continues.
But that’s exactly the problem. I can’t bring myself to overcome the anxiety enough to get on the phone or video with her.
I can’t even bring myself to try to coordinate her schedule with our schedules (Jesse would have to take an hour off work to look after the kids).
I want to say I’ll try a virtual session next week. But I can’t make that promise in good faith.
#8: Mother’s day
Sunday is Mother’s Day, and I’ve been informed (by Jesse AND James) that I will get to sleep in and drink coffee in bed while I read.
So apparently you CAN win the lottery without buying a ticket.
#9: If I Had a million dollars…
…I would do a bunch of noble shit and then buy all the cute TeeTurtle shirts I’ve been eyeing for months.
#10: Upcoming blog post…?
I am having major writer’s block for my next Monday post.
I had thought it might be time to write about how social anxiety can impact a person’s sexuality and sex life, because the effects can be extremely challenging and I don’t see anyone else talking about it.
But when I tried to write that post, it became very hard to be candid in my usual way without being way too… detailed.
So I got way into my own head about how to approach the topic, and gave myself page fright.
My other draft is about how anxiety can turn into anger, from the mom perspective.
But I am still undecided.
It’s just been that kind of week.
Questions for Bloggers:
Do you ever go back through old blog posts to update them?
How do you handle old content on your blog?
That’s been my week!
How was yours?
What did you get up to?
Featured image is from Canva Pro.